Figure out the life you actually want.

When I left PwC in 2020 to start my first business, I had a clear vision for the life I wanted to build after 8 years in the corporate world.

I was so done with the life in London, I wanted to work remotely, travel, have freedom over my location and calendar, and so time for the things I love - hiking, running, music. Yet, somehow despite the clear vision, I slid down a path to a life complete opposite of what I wanted. It took me 2 years and a lot of pain to realise it.

My co-founder and I left PwC to build a tech startup and like every first-time entrepreneur, we had no idea what we were doing. We knew how to work hard. So we did. We worked what felt like all the time. We couldn't afford to hire so we took all the jobs and became Chiefs of Everything - Marketing, Sales, Customer Support, Partnerships, you name it.

We were it.

Early mornings. Late nights. We were constantly ON, and for some time it felt good. We felt like "real" entrepreneurs. Hustlers. That's what running a business is like. We thought. Our identities were starting to get wired around this new version of who we were becoming. The hustle culture was paying off so well too. We were the heroes in our story and in the early days this felt comforting; the egos were well fed. We felt reassured that leaving our big corporate careers was the right decision.

Until one day it all came crashing.

It was Jan 2021 and it was the coldest day I could ever remember, -17 degrees. It was still the middle of Covid and we were in the French Alps, in a small quiet town perfect for getting a lot of work done. That day though we were gonna take some time off and finally do something fun. Back then, and now my idea of fun meant going into the mountains so we set off to hike this small summit that had been staring at us for weeks since we first got there.

I was so happy. Finally doing something that wasn't work. Going up the mountain, I was having so much fun. The sun was out. We had brought croissants to eat on the way. It was perfect.

We were just a few meters away from the summit when I stopped, looked at Alexis and told him in panic that I couldn't breathe here. The feeling was so weird, I had never felt this before - it was like someone was holding me by the throat and air couldn't pass through. It was absolutely terrifying. Being thousands of meters up in the mountains didn't help the scary thoughts that started sprinting through my head.

I rushed down, back to safety. But the feeling didn't go away. My whole body was in shock. I couldn't understand what was happening.

Once we got to the town, we called the emergency but they didn't come. They thought it was nothing.

Eventually out of exhaustion I fell asleep.

Going to bed that night I had no idea this was my first ever panic attack. It took me months of anxiety to realise what I was experiencing. It was crazy.

Up until then I didn't even know what stress felt like. Admitting to myself I was having panic attacks felt like a punch in the gut. Me - the chilled, happy, smiley person! It felt like I had failed me - and that was the part that hurt the most.

It took 2 painful years to realise I needed to make a lot of changes because what I had quietly created was the opposite of the life I wanted. I was so out of sync. My nervous system was a wreck.

I wanted a life of freedom, balance, and time to do the things I love, and instead I was running myself to the ground working non stop and calling it a success whilst my body was screaming at me in panic.

I started to reconnect with the vision for the life I wanted. I would imagine my perfect day and see myself living it. Day after day.

I soon realised I didn't want a complex business with a large team to manage. I wanted a simple business. One I could run by myself or 1-2 assistants. I wanted slow mornings, few calls, peaceful mind, and the freedom to disconnect when I need it.

I quietly pulled away from the start up - it turned out my co-founder and I wanted to build very different businesses. I started to experiment with everything I knew to bring my nervous system back to balance - yoga, meditation, Wim Hoff's protocol, running, working out; changed the way I spoke to myself and got business mentors to help me shape the right business I was going to create (and hopefully not repeat my mistake).

Little by little, it worked. I created the life I wanted. I now have all that I ever envisioned my perfect days would look like and I've never felt happier and more fulfilled in my life. But it was one heck of a journey.

Eventually I also built Wealthy Nomads which is the solo business I run to this day, helping location-independent business owners build freedom and wealth by massively lowering their taxes so they too can create the life they want.

I learnt the hard way to figure out the life I wanted first - then build the business that supports it. Not the other way around.

If you're hustling, feeling out of balance, and deep down you know you're not living the way you want, take this letter from me to you as your permission to stop. Life's too damn short to live someone else's version of life. And trust me, you don't want to wait until you run your nervous system to the ground and your body starts sending you panic attacks before you stop and listen to the signals.

Take a moment and ask yourself: "What's the life I want to live?" and "What does my dream Wednesday look like?" Sit with it for a few moments. This will make you uncomfortable but it will be worth it.

Then make one small change towards it. Then another.

Love,
Marchela